Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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