she woke up with a sticky ear
I look better un-naked...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
