Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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