dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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