do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
