I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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