hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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