no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
