I have demons in me.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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