from now on my penis is your penis
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
