How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
