Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
