Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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