don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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