Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
