just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
