Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
