I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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