More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
