You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
