hotel room ftw
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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