I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize