we have officially lost it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
