I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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