I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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