you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
