let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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