Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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