On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
