worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
