if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
