I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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