Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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