you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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