So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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