Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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