We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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