I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
