Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
