It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize