apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize