I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
my liver is dry heaving
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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