Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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