i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
