Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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