508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I showed him my bush... on skype.
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bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize