I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
