some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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