You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
