I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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