I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize