Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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