Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
