it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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