Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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