I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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