Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
