Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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