literally had 100 drinks last night.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
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who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i now understand why vodka
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize