Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
