I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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