as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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