she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
